


This Little Light of Mine

by MrowSaystheCat



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, first person one shot, sorry if it is out of character or anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4027801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrowSaystheCat/pseuds/MrowSaystheCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I miss the light in your eyes; even when you were at your lowest, it was still there.   Maybe only for me?</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Little Light of Mine

**Author's Note:**

> So, while working on a small moment in '[As the World Falls Down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3642726/chapters/8047620)', my Michonne muse kinda stuck around. She wanted to talk about Andrea, and her feelings there - so I let her. So, this is a small companion piece, set in the reality of the story which spawned it. Michonne and Rick have children together, for anyone who doesn't want to read the story - and it is set eight years in the future.

Do you know the things I wanted to say now? What do you think of them? Do they make you laugh, smile, cry a little? Was I a fool for not saying it while I had you, and would it make the way things turned out any different? Would you have chosen differently? You know, before it all went to hell in a handbag. Before we found you that way. These things aren't necessarily fair to ask. Still, I must. I have to. It isn't fair to either of us not to, even if they're only voiced by an inner whisper; just to the two of us, without you able to answer. Still, I will strain to listen - just in case you somehow learn to speak through the mists of time, space and my brain. I'll probably just consider it something like an auditory hallucination, and most of me will ignore it. At least there's honesty? Still, I think the deepest parts of me will hear and understand, so if you want to speak - please do. Please.

I miss your voice. 

I miss the light in your eyes; even when you were at your lowest, it was still there. Maybe only for me? I never did ask the most serious questions. The ones I was afraid of back then, because they confused me. I'd never thought of another woman that way, not before we met. There was just something there. I saw it, felt it. Misunderstood it on purpose. I sometimes think you knew, that you felt it as well - but didn't want to say anything. Am I wrong? What I wouldn't give for the answers to these questions of mine. To hear you one last time, for a few minutes. I just want a few minutes, Andrea. That's all. But the moments I long for are gone, never to be experienced. There is no going back to what was, what might have been. A part of me died with you, you know that? Do you hold that shade of me close to you, shelter her and prove to her that some sense of salvation is real? You were my salvation. Still are, really. You have to know that now. That first hand up towards the light; the one that started it all.

This little light of mine, that I'll carry in my heart until the day I die.  
I let it shine every day, and I wish that you were still here to see it.

I know that we can't change the past. Everything is supposed to happen for a reason; but I'll be damned if I can understand the reasons of the last near decade now. Do you understand it? Probably see it out to the end of the riddle, right? Can't you just give me a little hint, Andrea? No. I know, I know. There's no fun in spoiling it. We aren't having fun at all, really. At least, not the way we should be. 

My children; I have two children now, Andrea. Twins. So, three in all - but only two with me. You know this. I'm sure you've met my first. I know that he probably found you as soon as he could, because he knows now what is in his Mother's heart. I bet the two of you are sitting there, listening to me ramble. You're probably as thick as thieves, up to mischief. That makes me happy to know. Because I can see it so clearly, and it is a blessing I feel like I don't deserve. 

I named my daughter for you. She doesn't know the whole story of us, but one day she might. She knows that you saved me, brought me back to this world. They both know that you led me to them, when all is said and done. You're a true Angel in the eyes of the twins.

I know that isn't how it works. 

Then again, what do I really know about what is beyond this life? Faith, that which you must cling to in the darkest parts of reality. Faith makes it real. I know it is real. It has kept me afloat. You gave it to me, when we were together. You were an embodiment of truth that I'd forgotten. Still are. Always will be.

You mean so much to me, Andrea. Thank you for giving me myself back.  
Know that I will never forget you. I hope my heart is a comfortable place to dwell.  
I'm sorry for not saying the things I wanted to say while you were still with me.  
What would have been, hmm?

What would have been.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this is out of character, but it wanted to be written this way. I hope it doesn't cause anyone any displeasure or annoyance.


End file.
